


i'm such a good kitty, don't put up fights

by MxBBadperson



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Catboys & Catgirls, Domestic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 13:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30005907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxBBadperson/pseuds/MxBBadperson
Relationships: Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Dirk Strider/Karkat Vantas, Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Karkat Vantas, Dirk Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Karkat frowned, setting his mouth in a thin line. His eyes felt heavy. His frown deepened. He pushed himself off the table and stood up. He passed Hal. He tilted his head slightly, tail curving. 'Where are you going?' he asked.   
  
'Nap,' Karkat muttered. He went to the loungeplank. There was a sliver of moonlight through open blinds. Karkat laid down where it landed. Hal stopped beside him. Karkat's eyes cracked open. He looked up at him. 'Take your shades off before you lie down. They're gonna poke me.'  
  
Hal looked at him in consideration, tail swishing. He took off his shades and folded them. Hal laid down, tucking himself by Karkat's side. Karkat didn't open his eyes. He wrapped his arm around Hal. He swallowed then cleared his throat. He purred. Dirk's ears perked up.   
  
He turned around on his spinny chair. He got out of it. He walked out of his room and down the stairs. He followed the sound. He walked into the living room. Karkat was lying down by a window, Hal by his side. Dirk sat down by Karkat's other side. Hal glanced at him. 'Don't wake him up,' he said.   
  
'I wasn't going to,' Dirk replied. Karkat's purring was louder this close. He took off his shades and laid down beside him. A few minutes later, the purring stopped. 


	2. Chapter 2

Karkat frowned slightly. He felt warm. His eyes cracked open. He saw Hal's fair ears. Hal's face buried in his chest. He looked down. Dirk's arm was around him. His leg was hooked over his legs too. Karkat unwrapped his arm from Hal then lifted Dirk's arm from around him. He slowly moved his leg. Dirk's leg fell off his leg. Karkat sat up then slowly stood up. 'Where 'are you goin'?' Hal asked.  
  
'Ablutionblock,' Karkat whispered. He quietly walked away. He came back a few minutes later. He lied down beside Hal, away from Dirk. Hal rolled over then laid his head on Karkat's chest. Dirk listed his head. He looked around. He saw Karkat. He got on his hands and knees and crawled to him. He laid down on Karkat's other side.  
  
'Wake up,' someone whispered. Karkat turned away. He frowned. There was a hand on his face. He opened his eyes. Someone poked his cheek. Karkat turned his head. Dirk was staring down at him. He didn't put on his shades yet. He curled his hand around Karkat's chin then squeezed his cheeks. 'Give me some food,' Dirk said.  
  
Karkat scowled. 'There's food in the thermal hull.'  
  
'Go get it,' Dirk said imperiously.  
  
'Get it yourself,' Karkat replied.  
  
'No,' Dirk said simply, 'go get it.  
  
Karkat's scowl deepened. 'Fine,' he bit out. Dirk let go of his face and Karkat got up. He went to the thermal hull. Dirk watched him go.  
  
Hal rolled over onto his back. 'This is why I'm the favorite.'  
  
Dirk frowned, offended. He looked at Hal. 'You're not the favorite,' he said incredulously.  
  
'Just because you won't accept it, doesn't make it true,' Hal said simply. Dirk scowled.  
  
Karkat walked back into the room, plates in his hand. His eyes widened. He hurriedly set them down then went to Dirk and Hal. They were fighting. Karkat grabbed the back of Dirk's shirt and dragged him away. Hal kicked him. Dirk returned it. Hal jumped up. He ran behind Karkat, wrapping his arms around him. 'What the fuck was that about?!' Karkat growled.  
  
Hal set his chin on Karkat's shoulder. 'I told him the truth and he didn't like it.'  
  
'What the fuck did you say to him?' Karkat asked.  
  
'I told him that I'm the favorite,' Hal answered.  
  
'It's not true,' Dirk said petulantly.  
  
Karkat thought about it. 'No, no, it is. It is true. Hal is my favorite,' he said. Hal smiled at Dirk smugly. Dirk's ears and tail drooped. 'I got your food,' Karkat declared. He turned to the table. Hal let go and Karkat pulled. Dirk didn't move. His feet slid across the floor. Karkat rolled his eyes. He kept pulling.  
  
He stopped in by the table then let the back of Dirk's shirt go. Karkat sat down, Hal sat down beside him. Dirk sat down on his other side. Karkat handed the plates and they took it. Dirk finished eating first. He set the plate down. He elbowed Karkat gently. Karkat frowned. 'What?'  
  
Dirk laid down on his lap. Karkat looked at him. He rolled his eyes. 'Hal's annoying but he's slightly less annoying.'  
  
'But I'm still the favorite,' Hal said.  
  
Dirk scowled. 'No fighting,' Karkat ordered. Hal continued eating. After he put the plate down, he curled his arm around Karkat's shoulders and put his cheek on the side of his head.


	3. Chapter 3

Karkat stood by Dirk's closed door. 'Are you sulking?' he asked. There was no answer. Karkat sighed fondly.  
  
Hal came to stand behind him. He leaned forward and rested his chin on the top of Karkat's head. 'You don't have to go in. He'll get over it eventually.'  
  
'I don't want to hear this from you,' Karkat said. He moved his head. Hal looked at him in surprise. He didn't expect his headrest to move! 'I hurt his feelings so I have to go apologize,' Karkat said simply.  
  
'He'll ask you to kiss him or make out with him so he'll forgive you. Or he'll just bypass all that and fuck you,' Hal said.  
  
Karkat blushed. 'Hopefully, the last part doesn't happen,' he muttered.  
  
'But you like it,' Hal pointed out, 'and you know what?' He stepped closer then leaned down. 'Why go to apologize to Dirk when we can go to my room and I fuck you.' Karkat pushed Hal's face away. 'Ow,' Hal said deadpan.  
  
'I am going to apologize to Dirk and you'll either come with me or go watch TV,' Karkat said. He turned on his heel. 'Dirk?' he called out, 'can I come in?'  
  
'Come in.'  
  
Karkat opened Dirk's bedroom door. 'Dirk,' Karkat called out. No answer this time. He went to bed. It was empty. He looked over the edge. Dirk was lying on the floor face down. Karkat's expression turned fond. 'Dirk,' he said softly. Dirk didn't answer but Karkat didn't need him to. He sat down on the bed.  
  
'I'm sorry for hurting your feelings,' he said.  
  
'If you are, take it back,' Dirk said, muffled.  
  
Karkat sighed soundlessly. If he wanted to soothe Dirk, he had to. 'Hal isn't my favorite.'  
  
'What?' Hal said offended, 'now that he made you said that, I'm gonna have to kick his ass.'  
  
Dirk lifted himself off the floor then sat up. He looked at Hal. 'If you actually did, you won't beat me.'  
  
'Oh, I think I will,' Hal said. He stepped forward. Dirk tensed, ready for a fight.  
  
'Stop,' Karkat said. Dirk and Hal's ears reflexively perked up. An automatic reaction to Karkat using that tone. 'Dirk, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings.'  
  
'Are you?' Dirk challenged.  
  
'Yes, I do,' Karkat said. Dirk's tail wrapped around his torso. He got on the bed. He pressed the top of his head against Dirk's chest. Karkat's came up to wrap around him. He rubbed Dirk's back. Dirk's tail unwrapped from around himself to curl around Karkat.  
  
'Can you take that back?' Dirk asked quietly.  
  
Karkat sighed loudly. 'Ok. No, Hal isn't the favorite,' Hal opened his mouth, Karkat leveled a look of warning at him, Hal closed his mouth, 'and I know it's very hard to believe, I sure as fuck don't act like it most of the time, but I care for you too.'  
  
'Really?'  
  
'Really,' Karkat said.  
  
'I'm still gonna be mad,' Dirk said petulantly.  
  
Karkat smiled. 'Ok,' he said fondly, 'you can be angry as long as you want. I'm not gonna be mad.'  
  
'I'm taking you up on that,' Dirk said.  
  
Karkat nodded. 'Ok,' he said softly. He unwrapped his arms from around him. Dirk made a sound. Karkat touched one of his ears. 'I'll still be here when you finally come out. And don't worry I'll out food by the door and yell at you to eat.' He kissed Dirk's forehead. Dirk's tail curved in curiosity. Karkat moved his hands away, setting them on the bed. He tried to move away but stopped.  
  
Dirk's tail was still wrapped around him. 'Dirk?' Karkat prompted, 'your tail.' Dirk unwrapped his tail from around Karkat. Karkat stood up. He walked out of the room, Hal following. Karkat closed the door behind him.  
  
Hal stepped forward. 'Can I have a kiss too?' he asked quietly.  
  
Karkat turned to him. He beckoned him closer. Hal leaned down and Karkat pressed a kiss on his forehead. Hal straightened. He touched his forehead. Karkat looked at him fondly. 'Come on, let's go watch something trashy.'  
  
'Can I pick this time?' Hal asked.  
  
'Ok,' Karkat replied. They both went to the loungeplank and sat down, Hal laying his head on Karkat's lap. And as he promised, Karkat brought a tray of food and juice and water to Dirk's door. He set it down in front of it.  
  
'Hey! Come and eat!' Dirk opened the door. He picked up the tray and brought it inside. He didn't close the door. Karkat went back to the loungeplank. Dirk joined him and Hal minutes later. After he set the dishes in the sink of course. Anything else would annoy Karkat.


End file.
